Possibly one of the simplest distinctions I’ve discovered in the last 7 years of studying men’s work is this: STOP BEING EMOTIONAL!
Right away your feminist ears are perking up, right? Men are “supposed” to be emotional. That’s what women complained about in the 1960-1970s (and still today). Women said men were “cold” or didn’t have any “feelings”. The new term I’ve heard in Los Angeles, even in a recent romantic comedy film, and soon will take over women’s vocabulary world-wide is: “emotionally unavailable”.
You men decided, “Women won’t like me unless I’m emotional”. Or better, “my mom won’t like me unless I’m emotional.” And you’re living from a decision without all the facts. You might as well still believe “the earth is flat.”
Let’s look at facts instead of beliefs. Check out the picture in this post. Here’s a man with “emotions”. What do you really think? Would you trust him? Give him your car keys or your savings to manage? Maybe you’d follow him into battle or as a boss that will make your team successful? NOT! If you wouldn’t trust an emotional man, why would a woman? Get it?
So, STOP BEING EMOTIONAL! It’s not about “hiding your feelings”. Stop it! Stop thinking you’re supposed to be an emotional blob so people will love you. Knock it off. No one is going to trust you that needs to count on you. Especially not women. Healthy women want a healthy, loving man in their life, not a boy to control. Don’t believe me! Ask a woman to tell you the truth when she looks at the picture above. Would she trust him?
Harsh words eh? That’s because I care. Of course, there’s a lot to go over here to clear up the years of pop culture and movie conditioning you’ve received. One simple tip is: if you do feel emotions coming up, because you are still emotional rather than present and awake, go to your men. Those men you’d trust with your life, the ones that tell the raw truth. The ones that will help you pull out the arrow and get you back into the game. Or, if your men don’t know what to do, get a coach or other expert to pull out those arrows so you can function well again. But stop expecting women to help you through your emotions. That’s about the grossest thing a woman can imagine.
Finally, “emotions” are not “feelings”. A man feels deeply but when it turns into emotion, that’s scary. That’s why there are two different words. Use a dictionary buddy! They’re really cool. Comment on the blog and let’s see what you think about being emotional.
UPDATE: Second article to answer some questions about being emotional here: